Diggory
by Tails42
Summary: Dealing with the after math of loosing her beloved brother, Kelsey faces the future with feelings of sadness, and anger. There are many that try to pull her out of her depression. Only one is able to help, but to be truly healed Kelsey has to fix herself.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry potter.

I Live in a Shrine

People chant, and cheer as their champions enter the field in front of the maze, though it seems more like a labyrinth than a maze to me. All of the Beauxbatons students are supporting Fleur Delacour, and all of Durmstrang is rooting for Viktor Krum. Half of Hogwarts stand behind Cedric, and the other half are with Potter. Anthony stands next to me in the bleachers chanting, "Diggory, Diggory", with me as Cedric and my dad make their big entrance. I'm chanting the loudest of all. This tournament is all Cedric has been talking about since first term. He got even more obsessed about it when he became a contestant. And here he is, at the final challenge. Like dad, I couldn't be prouder of my big brother.

All too quickly the four champions have entered the maze and a hush installs over the audience. The pride I was feeling before crumbles away as nerves take over I remember what professor Dumbledore said at the beginning of the year. About the challenges being extremely dangerous and only those of age would be allowed to compete. Of course, that did not stop Potter. 'Please make it out okay' I asked Cedric in my head, clasping my hands to the front of my chest. Anthony gives a small smile at my nervousness, and places a hand on my right shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. He's such a good friend.

Dad leaves the field and finds me in the stands, squeezing pass a third year ravenclaw to stand next to me. "Hello dear, good to see you supporting your brother", dad said, gesturing to my black and yellow hufflepuff sweatshirt that reaches to mid-thigh and has Diggory spelled on the back. Despite being a part of ravenclaw house myself.

I laugh softly, my nerves for my brother stopping any real laughs from coming out. Anthony's hand drops from my shoulder as I wrap my arms around dad's middle for a hug before I said, "It's actually Ced's quidditch sweater shirt. He loaned it to me for tonight", as I pulled away. Dad nods and turns his attention to Anthony.

"Mr. Goldstein", dad said with a stern look which made Anthony flinch away from me. I roll my eyes in annoyance. As if I would ever want to date Anthony. He's been my best mate since first year. Besides, he's been smitten with Mandy Brocklehurst since she showed off her transfiguration abilities in second year. Hell, that's the only reason why Cedric didn't break our friendship up when he realized the best friend I was always talking about was a boy.

Time creeps by at a flubberworm's pace as we wait for the winner to appear. Both Fleur and Krum have already been retrieved from the maze. Meaning that Hogwarts has already won, but who is our champion?

A flash of light appears for a split second, before it vanishes, leaving behind Potter, clutching his wand in one hand, the trophy in the other, and is hunched over something. But where is Cedric? People start cheering again before realizing the teachers and staff on the field aren't celebrating with us. But no one stops until Potter's sobs reach us. "I couldn't leave him! Not that!" He sobs over and over again.

Dad pales in an instant and starts pushing his way to the front. I glance at Anthony once to see his confused expression before racing after dad. Some people from the ministry try to stop us from coming onto the field, but dad shouts, "That's my boy!" Over and over until they let him pass with me hurrying after, passing a hysterical Cho Chang as I do. "No!" Dad screams as he throws himself over the figure that Potter had been hutched over when he got here. Where is potter anyway?

All thoughts of him are erased when I see Cedric, pale, cold and lifeless. No! It can't be! Not Cedric, not my big brother. My breath hitches in my chest as I drop to my knees next to him, on the opposite side of dad. No! The first tear falls. "Wake up", I whisper. As I place both of my hands on Cedric's shoulder. The sleeves of the sweatshirt are covering my hands, preventing me from feeling how cold he is. After all, this sweater is meant to fit him, not me. I start shaking him. "Wake up" I said louder. I shake him harder. "Wake up", I yell. "You're not dead, you're not! You can't be dead". But my big brother remains lifeless.

"No!" I scream, sitting up abruptly, and open my eyes. I sit, panting in my bed, looking at the early morning light shining through my window as my mind catches up with my body. Slowly I unclench my fists from their death grip on my bed sheets, thinking 'why do I have to relive that night in every dream?' My shoulders shudder as I hunch over and bring my hands up so I can burry my head in them. 'Why', I think as I sob.

Until that night sobbing was never something to listen to in my house. Mum's sounds consisted of pots and pans banging together as she created some concoction that never failed to make my mouth water. At the end of every school year, when Cedric and I came home there would be a feast ready for us. She'd make all of our favorites. Cedric would get his roast beef, and I could always expect the most amazing risotto. This year there was no food, no warm welcome, and no Cedric.

Dad's sounds consisted of talk. He was always going on about his work, the latest quidditch match, or us, his family, though mainly he just wanted to talk about Cedric. It was acknowledged by the whole family that dad favored Cedric, and there were no hard feelings about it. Cedric was his first born, and son. The spitting image dad when he was in his prime. Dad loved to whip out the pictures from his school days just to show us the similarities between him and Cedric. That didn't mean that dad didn't love me. I was his baby girl. As a child he would always sneak me sweets before dinner behind mom's back, and read story after story at bedtime. And when I got my acceptance letter from Hogwarts dad insisted that he'd be the one to take me to get my wand. Dad used to say, "My children are my pride and joy. Cedric was his pride and I was his joy. But no more, not since Cedric was killed. Now the only sounds that don't sound out of place are sobbing, sounds of anguish. I feel like I'm being too loud when my bedroom door squeaks when I open it.

It's only been a few months since Cedric's passing, but it seems like a year. It may have been a short amount of time, but our house still turned into a shrine. Mom dusts, and polishes every picture frame that holds a picture of Cedric without magic. She still sets a place for him at the table by the window at every meal. Cedric liked to sit there so when conversation was slow he could look out, and see what was happening outside of our home. That's Cedric's spot and no one is allowed to sit there. Mom only makes Cedric's favorite foods now. Not that any of us ever eat our fill. I haven't been hungry since that night. Eating is just a chore, something I have to do. Mom can't even make it through a meal without crying. She stares at the back door that leads from the kitchen to the garden, as if she's expecting Cedric to come strolling in at any moment with his broomstick hoisted over his shoulder so she can scold him for being late for dinner. When she realizes that he isn't coming she bursts into tears and runs out of the kitchen. Then dad drags his feet to the study, where he stares at the family portrait that hangs on the wall behind his desk, tracing Cedric's face with his finger as our picture selves all wave at the camera. Dad rereads every essay Cedric's ever written, reviewed every report card, and even the daily prophet articles about Cedric in the tri-wizard tournament. And as he does this he mutters, "My boy, my boy", over and over again. And me, when I close my eyes all I see is my big brother, and when I open them all I see is Cedric's shrine.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Train

"You look dreadful", one miss Luna Lovegood said as she examines me by peering over the top of her copy of the latest edition of _The Quibbler_. I know what she's referring too. Anyone would look dreadful with black bags under their eyes, unkept hair, and sporting a sweater that is three sizes too big. "Is it Nargles?" Luna asked, leaning forward ever so slightly.

I shake my head. I have bags under my eyes because I can't close my eyes without replaying the night of Cedric's death. My hair is a mess because I couldn't care less. And the sweater is too big because it's Cedric's. It's meant to keep him warm, not me.

The train lurches forward, leaving behind a crowd of parents, and siblings waving goodbye, as Luna said, "It's just as well. Apparently there quite difficult to remove; But I'm barely listening. All my attention is directed at staring out of the window. No one from my family is there, waving goodbye, ordering me to study hard, or wishing me a good school year. I had to take a muggle cab to the station this year. Mum never leaves the shrine, and dad only leaves to go to work. I'm not sure if they'll even remember that I've left. After all, they're still waiting for Cedric to come home. As we pull out of the station completely I press the left sleeve of Cedric's sweater to my face, and take a deep breath. His sweater hasn't left my procession since he gave it to me, that day of his murder. It's one of the few things that I have of him. All I have is; this sweater, some of his school books and one of his hufflepuff ties that I was able to salvage from his trunk before my parents knew of their existence. I know that sounds silly. Having so little of Cedric when I live in his shrine, but according to my parents everything has to be preserved. In the exact place Cedric had left them, including his school trunk. As if he would come back one day.

I'm pulled out of my musings as the compartment door slides open, though I don't know who it is as I don't turn away from the window. "Hello Luna", an obviously female voice says. "Would you and your friend mind if we sit here?"

Luna responds with, "Not at all". Sounds of trunks being dragged fill the compartment as the three new comers settle. Instead of waiting for a regular introduction Luna pipes up, "You're Harry potter, were you aware?" At the sound of his name I swing my head around to look at the newcomers.

Of all the compartments he could have come too it had to be this one. We are in the same year, and have had care of magical creatures class together since third year. I've never said a word to him other than, "excuse me", when I was trying to go around him and his friends in the library last year. Other that what all of the wizarding world know about the boy who lives, I don't know anything about him. But I still hate him. It's not because of what has being showing up in the daily prophet. I don't believe what is in the prophet. I fully trust professor Dumbledore, though I do enjoy that they were making Potter out as the bad guy. All I know is that something murdered Cedric. From the way potter was bawling, laid flat out on my brother's corpse that night in front of the maze. I'm confident that potter didn't kill him, but something did. I may believe Potter, but I still hate him He was there. He was with Cedric, so why was Cedric the one to die? Why was Potter spared and not my brother? I hate Harry potter because I don't believe he helped my brother.

"Yes", Potter responds, laughing nervously as he rubbed the back of his head. Either because of Luna's odd question or my glaring, there is no way to tell really.

Luna turns her eyes on the second boy that entered the compartment. Drawing my attention to him as well. "Who are you?" Luna asked.

As if he fears being in the spot light the boy takes a small step and said, "Nobody", with a bit of a squeak in his voice. I roll my eyes at him. How he ever got into Gryffindor is beyond me.

The female speaker, that I now see has red hair and is obviously a Weasley, seems to think along the same lines as she suddenly said, "Luna this is Neville Longbottom. Neville this is Luna Lovegood. She's in my year". And then Weasley's attention is turned to me. Her eyes flit over me as she takes me in. 'That's right Weasley', I think, 'take a good look. This is what it looks like lives are derailed'. She holds out her hand, and said, "I'm Ginny Weasley".

Although I don't want to, I follow social protocol and take her hand for a shake. "Kelsey Diggory", I said, my voice a bit hoarse. It's been a while since I've used it.

Almost immediately Ginny freezes, and from the corner of my eye I can see Potter taking me with great scrutiny. But the moment passes as Ginny recovers by squeezing my hand and saying, "Yes, I think we met at the world cup last year".

The first time I spoke to Ginny Weasley was when our families were sharing a port key.

I hadn't slept that well the night before the match. Much to my mum's annoyance as she had told me repeatedly to lay off the chocolate frogs, knowing what sugar does to me. I'd spent the night tossing and turning, willing myself to fall asleep. I didn't succeed until two o'clock in the morning. Only to be shook awake two and a half hours later by my big brother. Who was annoyingly a morning person, and was fully awake and ready to go at the crack of dawn. Needless to say, he stayed with me that whole morning to make sure I didn't fall back asleep. The night before I had done one smart thing, which was to go to bed in the clothes that I was going to wear to the world cup. But Cedric still had to help me, by making me brush my teeth, and make sure I had matching socks, and didn't put my shoes on the wrong feet, all due to my drowsiness. He even took the time to pull my hair back into a ponytail. It was a sloppy one, but Ced was a guy. I have to give him props for trying. "Are you really 14?" Cedric had asked, as he pulled me to my feet so we could leave. "Because you've haven't changed since you were six", he teased.

"Shut up" I whined, rubbing my eyes.

The next part I remember is traveling through the woods to get to the oh so important port key. I really don't know why we didn't just apparate. Both Cedric and dad could, yet we were still going by port key. Somehow I had ended up on Cedric's back with dad hollering at us from ahead to keep up the pace. Cedric had shifted me so he could speed up. "You're heavy", he said.

"Am not", I remember mumbling.

Then dad had asked, "Kelsey, why is your brother carrying you?" As Ced had caught up with him.

"Because walking is for boys", I had said, much to the amusement of my male relatives. I had tried to bury my face into Cedric's back to find a dark place so I could go back to sleep. I had always been the baby in the family, and was content for it to stay that way.

After that the memory isn't very clear. One Mr. Arthur Weasley yelled out, "Amos", at my dad. As soon as the three of us were joined in the Weasley group Cedric had forced me to stand on my own two feet so he could shake hands with everyone. And I was prompted to do the same. Then dad had gone on and on about how Cedric, his boy, had defeated Harry Potter in quidditch in my third year, Cedric's sixth year. And that's the majority of that memory.

"I remember", I said, a bit out of it as I pulled my hand back from Ginny Weasley, and stared out of the window one more. Quickly the three newcomers take seats. Ginny sits next to Luna, Longbottom next to Potter. And Harry bloody potter sits next to me. I turn away from the window long enough to glare at him before looking away. Fate is cruel.

Throughout the train ride the compartment is filled with chit chat from the other four. Here and there I would pick up snippets of their conversations, but since I don't care that's all I get. Luna makes some comment about Potter being Potter, and Longbottom goes on and on about some plant of his. Next thing I know some slimy and rancid goo smothers my right side. I look down to see the stuff sticking to Cedric's sweater. Time seems to stand still as I stare at the mess. I can't believe this is happening. Why does something of Cedric's has to be soiled? It's one of the few things that his scent still clings to. Longbottom starts sputtering out apologies as I grip my wand from the inside of the sweater's pocket. This can't be happening.

"It's alright Neville", Ginny said as she whips out her wand and pointed it at the center of the compartment. "Scourgify", making the goo vanish from the floor, Luna's quibbler, hers, Neville's, and Harry's clothes, and Cedric's sweater. "No harm done", Ginny said as she pocketed her wand.

Still gripping my wand my wand with my left hand I press the right sleeve to my nose. Damage has been done. Weasley's spell was too successful. It cleaned away all that disgusting goo, but it also cleaned away Cedric's lingering scent of grass, and this awful aftershave that he insisted on using.

My eyes, grey like Cedric's had been, turn to Longbottom. If it hadn't been for that goo Weasley would not have casted that spell and Cedric's scent wound still exist. "Kelsey", Ginny starts, drawing the attention of everyone else in the compartment. "Is everything all right?"

"No", I forced out as I stood up and pulled out my wand. "Everything is not alright. My brother is dead!" I yelled, gaining some satisfaction as everyone, except for Luna flinches. "That one" I exclaimed, pointing my wand at Potter. "Was there when it happened. But did you help him? Did you even try to save him?" I didn't wait for an opened mouth potter to respond before I turned on my heels to face a wide eyed Longbottom, with my wand trailed on him. "And that one got slimy, stinky goo all over Cedric's sweater, which is why this one", I said, turning on Ginny who has a slightly surprised look to her. "used that spell that may have solved the goo problem but also cleansed every scent of Cedric from his sweater!" I finish, seething as my shoulders rise and fall with each breath. It's then that I realize I am threatening people with my wand. Red sparks leave my wand as I let my left arm drop to my side, so no one got hit by the sparks. I lunge for the compartment door, slamming it open before I charge out, into the hall way. I can't do this.

I stormed out of the compartment just in time to run into the fifth year prefect returning from their first meeting. To be more specific, I had stormed out just in time to collide with Anthony. I vaguely remember from one of his letters that he had been awarded the position of prefect. Anthony had sent me many letters over the summer holidays. About one every week, even though I never responded to a signal one. I didn't want to have to tell him about Cedric's shrine.

Upon impact Anthony grips my shoulders to steady the both of us. "Where have you been Kelsey? I was looking for you on the platform this morning." His voice I light and calm. I can't sense any anger in him for not writing him back, or surprise that I just ran into him. It's the first happy, friendly, non-pitiful voice that I've heard since the night of Cedric's murder.

I can't answer him. I just bury my head into his chest, and grip the front of the school robes that Anthony had already changed into with my wand still clenched in my left hand. He is such a sight for sore eyes. I should have responded to his letters.

"Um okay Kel", Anthony said as he removes his hands from my shoulders so he can give me a hug instead. The hug last for a few seconds before he pulls away. "Let's go find where Terry and Michael ended up. They have my school things". Anthony said as he took my wandless hand and starts walking down the train, looking into compartments for his other friends. "Where is your trunk?" He asked.

"I – I was sitting with Luna before..." But that's as far as I go. I don't want to bring up the goo; Cedric's scent being lost, and my outburst.

But what I said was enough for Anthony. "Okay", he said. "After we find Terry and Michael I'll go track down your things".

"Anthony", I said as I stopped walking, making Anthony stop as well to look at me. "Thank you".

He squeezes my hand, smiles softly and said, "Anytime", and since Anthony is Anthony he adds on, "this way I can show Mandy that I have a soft side".


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry potter.

The Toad

The train screeches to a halt as I finish tying the gold and black tie around my neck and tucking it under my collar, noticing how it clashes with my ravenclaw robes, but I can't part with it. Since I can't wear Cedric's sweater when uniform is required I'll have to settle for his old school tie.

Michael's face scrunches up as Terry and Anthony start pulling trunks from the overhead racks. "You're not turning into a huffle lover are you Kelsey?" Michael asks in a tone that makes me want to punch him, but in all honesty there have been few things that come out of his mouth that doesn't make me want to hurt him. I turn away, not wanting to explode again like I did with Potter and company. I think I try to limit those outburst to one a day. Maybe prolong the time before everyone realizes that Cedric's murder has caused me to loose me mind and everyone decides to ship me off to St, Mungos. However, just as I turn away Anthony scowls at him in warning, before pulling down the trunk that he so kindly retrieved for me earlier in the train ride.

"Thanks" I mutter, meaning more than just helping me with my luggage, as the other two boys lead the way out of our compartment.

Entering the great hall at the start of every term always reminds me of the first time I came here. I'd spent my entire first train ride clinging to fourteen year old Cedric's robes, much to his embarrassment. Through Cedric was too good of a brother to push me away. So he endured his friends laughing eyes and teasing comments about my attachment. When he was walking me to Hagrid and the other first years I remember trying to convince him to ride the boats with me, or let me take the carriages with him. Hagrid had to pull me off of him, wrinkling my new robes in the process. Not that I cared about the condition of my clothes at that age. By the time the boats reached the castle my knees had this weird wobbly feeling that multiplied by the time the boats reached the great hall. As all us first years where guided into the great hall, I spotted the hufflepuff table and started frantically searching for Cedric. An action that caused me to slow down and Longbottom ran into me. Both of us had mumbled an apology, each very distracted by our nerves and fear. My fear was that I wouldn't be in Hufflepuff. At that age my brother was like a security blanket to me. Someone I could trust and rely on whenever something went wrong. My name was one of the earlier ones to be called, and much too soon the sorting hat was placed on my head, and a voice whispered to me in my mind. It said things about, courage, but also a thirst for knowledge, loyalty but also a love for a good puzzle, the more challenging the better. Stubborn but also oblivious to things that I could not find in a book or logic. And before I could think of Hufflepuff to let the hat know my wishes it called out, "Ravenclaw!"

As the hat was removed and I started for the cheering table I finally caught sight of Cedric. When our eyes met he had smiled and given me a thumbs up. He seemed almost glad that I wasn't sorted into his house. The first night I spent in Ravenclaw's dormitory I cried for the absence of my security blanket. And now I cry for the loss of my security blanket. How foolish I was to cry for him that first year, when he was still there. Not knowing there would be a time where he would never be in my life again.

Automatically my eyes stare at Hufflepuff table, expecting my brother to be there, with his friends. But he's not there. Some of his friends aren't either, the ones who finished their schooling last year. I reach up and run a hand over the silken tie that hangs from my neck as I drag my feet to ravenclaw table behind Anthony and his dorm mates.

The sorting begins and I keep my eyes firmly on the sorting hat, ignoring a specific pair of green eyes from Gryffindor table that seems to be staring at me since he sat down. No doubt waiting for the next time I fly off the handle and start threatening people with my wand. Lethargically I clap my hands as my house mates' cheer with great fervor to welcome the new members. A new year has begun and everything of last year seems to have been washed away, and yet I'm still living in the past.

The feast begins and ends, and I don't recall what I ate. But I vaguely remember Terry or Anthony scooping a large portion of tortellini on my plant. The next thing that I'm aware of is a pink covered toad like being is standing before Dumbledore's podium, speaking to everyone in this irritating high pitched voice. She, or Dolores Umbridge as she introduced herself, is going on and on about how the quality of Hogwarts is failing, and that the ministry will set everything straight. The toad woman finishes by saying, "I trust we will all be very good friends", and giggled. With the exception of professor Lupin, the defense teachers seem to get worse every year.

The trek up the ravenclaw tower is unspectacular as I walk behind Terry and Michael, as Anthony has gone ahead to lead the first years. That is to be expected though, because I doubt spectacular happenings even exist anymore. My dorm mates Lisa Turnip and Mindy do find me in the crowd, pushing past Luna to get to me, and immediately start asking questions about summer. Indirectly asking how life has been since the death of my cherished brother, and my parents' beloved son. I start flinching from an inward pain. Why do I have to think about Cedric, his shrine, and his death at every voice, every word and every question? I push past them, cutting Lisa off in, what I'm sure is, another question that I don't want to answer. Leaving Terry and Michael behind to appease them as I make my own way to the common room, however, I do hear Luna say from behind all four of them. 'I wouldn't be upset with her. It appears she's inflicted with Nargles".

I don't even think to scoff at Luna's fascination with a non existing creature as I am already deep within my own thoughts. Why couldn't I have died instead of Cedric? He could handle all this pain and constant memories better than I can. I walk as fast as I can without breaking into a run, as I push past everyone, and ignore all of their complaints, which they quickly stifle as soon as they realize who it was that shoved them out of her way. All so I can beat my dorm mates to the room. Then I can pretend to be asleep, and hopefully they'll leave me alone. I can't do this. I should have stayed in Cedric's shrine. At least there I could grieve without any witnesses.


End file.
